Halloween JOKES !

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves ...

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed!

Why does Texas no longer have Halloween or Thanksgiving?
Because the witch took the turkey to Washington!

Why do male ghosts have so much trouble dating?
Women can see right through them!

Think Halloween is going to suck this year (2008)? Empty haunted foreclosed houses everywhere!

Ed Stein cartoon

Drunk Halloween Pumpkin

More Halloween jokes soon!

Those Were the Days: How Halloween Used to be Celebrated Like in Good Old days

Autumn: the end of summer, and the beginning of the festive season for which every one of us waits throughout the years! The cool temperatures, the majestic mountains and the splendid landscapes all add their individual touches to enhance the beauty of the season. And in fact, all these are symbolic of something special that is about to arrive: yep, I am talking about Halloween.

It is something that children wait for throughout the year; after all, can they really forget about the 'trick of treat' method or that bag full of candies that they are going to get? In this article I will tell you how the present-day Halloween has changed drastically from the tradition.

Those were the days...the old timers would reminisce, when Halloween was celebrated in a much simpler way than now. As a matter of fact, 'tricking or treating' is not much in vogue now; it's been replaced by lavish fancy dress parties. But the old timers would remember that there was a time when no one could even think of Halloween without the custom of 'tricking of treating', especially children for whom, it was like an excuse to eat candies to their hearts' content!

In those days, children would go around the neighborhood to 'trick' their neighbors, and they were in turn treated with a warm smile and plenty of delicious goodies. Children used to collect those goodies in large brown bags that they used to carry with themselves. The goodies would range from apples to candies, popcorn balls, etc.

Back then, people didn't spend too much money on costumes; they made them on their own. Children were usually the ones who used to get excited at the idea of creating scary Halloween costumes, and they would dig through the pile of the old clothes and other belongings of their parents in order to find suitable items for the costume!

Times have changed now. There is the difference of heaven and hell between the candies of then and now. Then, the candies were homemade and hence completely safe to take. Nowadays, you cannot put any candy in your mouth without inspecting it first for any sharp or harmful objects! There are so many stores displaying a vast range of Halloween costumes that children rarely need to make anything on their own. Nevertheless, some things have still not changed! The fun and excitement about the impending Halloween party is still there in the hearts of young and old alike, the scary part is also there in Halloween parties, and the spooky and ghoulish delicious Halloween recipes too haven't left us!

Even though we have shifted a lot from tradition, the fun is still there, and that is what Halloween is all about, right?

Top 10 Halloween Costumes for Women That Do Not Look Slutty

Many women dress up for Halloween, it is surely a fact that Halloween is not just for kids. However, most Halloween costumes for Women look slutty. If you're like me, who want to show off creativity more and show off skin less for Halloween, you may want to consider one of the following:

1) Do you dream to be butt-kicker, word saver, super-heroine? Then why not be one for Halloween? If you like the idea, but doesn't really want to show off too much of your skin, then you might want to choose the Barbara Gordon (1967) version of Bat-girl. This version doesn't show much of the cleavage.

2) Harley Quinn: Now, if you want to be bad, and don't feel like being super-heroine for Halloween, then the Harley Quinn costume is for you. This super-villain costume will make you a one hot bad mama in an instant.

3) Charlie Chaplin: If you picture yourself the silent type, then this might be the Halloween costume for you. I'm talking about silent-film legend Charlie Chaplin. Put on some trousers, wear a coat, down your hat, grab your cane and off you go. And oh, let's not forget that funny paste-on mustache.

4) The Joker. Do you want to be unique and would like to see if you can pull off a supposedly costume for men? If you are up for it, then the Joker costume is for you. You have a choice to either put on a Joker's mask or just work on your face and put on the Joker's makeup, either way, you will surely pull it off.

5) Combat Soldier: Support our troops they say. There is no other way to salute our men and women fighting for our freedom and oil overseas than to dress like a combat soldier this Halloween.

6) School Girl: Men like uniforms. Men like women who wear glasses. Combine the two and you have an unbeatable combo. Go to your Halloween party this year dressed as a school girl with glasses and you'll end up being irresistible. Who who'd have thought nerdy could be so sexy?

7) The Mad Hatter: Johnny Depp will take a stab as the Mad Hatter next year. This year, though, the honors could go to you. Nobody said that the Mad Hatter has to be played by a guy.

8) Mummy Mommy: Zombie movies are in even as they have turned into comedies. A unique way on the mummy is to go as the mummy mommy. Grab a lot of tissue paper rolls, wrap yourself up, grab a baby and go scare up some good fun.

9) Michael Jackson: Bad, Billie Jeans, Thriller, just select one that you think you can pull off. Just stick with the last rendition of Michael Jackson though, and this look will surely work on you.

10) Bernie Madoff: This one should be easy to pull off. Put on a man's business suit. Wear a sign that says, "I want to invest your 401K." Act trust worthy. How scary is that?

HALLOWEEN COSTUME SAFETY... 5 Tips to Keep Your Child Safe

Here are the facts you must know about Halloween costume safety.

Every year, at the end of October, our homes are invaded by ghosts, witches, monsters and such. Thankfully, there are also enough nuns, princesses and super heroes to protect us from the scary guys. Of course, I am talking about Halloween.

Halloween is the one time during the year when children can indulge their wildest fantasies and be rewarded for whatever they dream of being, but it is still up to us to keep them safe.

Halloween safety begins with costume safety. We wouldn't dream of sending our children to school, or out to play, wearing clothing that could be dangerous to them. Halloween is the one day during the year when we let the rules slip a bit. It doesn't have to be that way.

Here are some valuable tips that will help you keep the kids safe:

The mask:

* Vision -- Small eye holes in a Halloween mask can reduce your child's peripheral vision. Crossing streets and navigating unfamiliar sidewalks in the dark becomes more dangerous than usual. Ever considered face painting?

* Hearing -- A full head mask can also cut down on hearing.

* Choking -- Most kids eat on the run at Halloween. If they are wearing a mask it is impossible to see if they are choking on a piece of candy.

TIP: Using a pair of scissors, enlarge eye holes and cut holes around the ears and mouth. Consider face paint instead of a mask.

The costume:

* Light and bright - If possible, convince your child to wear a light colored costume. It makes him/her much easier to see at night.

TIP: If your child is determined to wear a dark costume add reflective tape to the costume. It is even a good addition on light colored costumes. You can find it at most bicycle stores.

* Flame resistance - If you are buying a costume, look for the "flame resistant" label. This does not mean that the costume is fireproof, only that it does not catch fire, or support a flame, easily. Keep this in mind if you decide to create your own costume.

TIP: Test the material by passing a small piece over a candle or lighter.

* Tripping - Costumes usually come in small, medium, or large. Kids come in all sizes. Costumes that are too large, or that drag the ground, present a real tripping hazard.

TIP: Trim the hem of the costume with a pair of scissors, or use safety pins to adjust the size, to eliminate this hazard.

General safety considerations:

* Safe houses - Restrict trick or treat activities to neighborhoods that you know are safe. Plan your child's route in advance.

* Adult supervision - Go trick or treating with your child or form a group of block monitors to patrol the neighborhood. Keep a cell phone with you for use in an emergency. Have the cell numbers of other block monitors pre-programmed in your phone.

* Don't eat until it has been checked - Get your child to agree to this before trick or treating begins.

TIP: Give your child a small supply of their favorite snack or candy to take with them. This will reduce the temptation to eat unchecked candy.

Halloween is a time to build great memories that will stay with your children for their entire lives. By following these tips you can do your part to make this happen.

Make Amazing Halloween Cards for the Loved Ones

Greeting cards is one of the beautiful means to express ones emotions to friends and family. Some may opt for ready-made greeting cards whilst a few could choose to let their artistic side come out and create them depending upon the occasion. The 31st October is celebrated as the Halloween's Day and it definitely seems to be the right time to start the process of creating some amazing cards. It dates back to the 16th century when Halloween was first attested as 'All-Hallows-Even' which means a night prior to that of All Hallows Day.

The occasion is one that of celebration and showing respect to the 'unknown'. There are a number of traditions which people follow and indulge in diverse activities to celebrate the day. Wishing people with cards is one of the best options. Think of creating cards with some real horrifying images that aptly represent the day. Also, via your cards, you could simply highlight the facts about Halloween characters or use them as party invitations. There are tools that are available which can help you create a card that you may have thought of for quite some time.

The best part about these programs is that they have pre-designed templates with graphic features, with over thousands of them, so that, you can design preferredHalloween Greeting Cards. The tool is very simple to use and time-saving. Such programs could have features like:

1. Beautiful templates with interesting background themes.
2. Feature to insert or add pictures and images you want on the card.
3. Attractive shapes, frames and symbols that could jazz up the look of the greeting card.

Since you can insert or add images of your choice, for Halloween's, you could simply use face of your siblings or friends and fix it on the body of bats printed on the card and add text to it as if they are saying something. You could apply your creative ideas while designing the cards with striking color and graphics combination. With the existing themes and ideas you could find the process of creating and personalizing cards as a really fun activity.

How to Have The Perfect Halloween Party

Traditionally more popular in America, over the past 10 years Halloween has wormed its way into British culture and is now firmly a part of the UK calendar and not just for the kids either. An increasing amount of "grown ups" are celebrating All Hallows' Eve with fancy dress fun at parties and on nights out.

Four Fun Facts You Didn't Know About Halloween

What exactly is Halloween? For many, it is merely a reason to dress up and be someone else for a night. For kids, it's a chance to collect loads of free candies and chocolates. For business people, it's an annual money-making machine. In truth, Halloween is basically a holiday so mixed up with historical facts that people perceive it as a night when you wear a costume and be whoever you want to be. This is rather fitting, considering that historically, this holiday has had a similar identity crisis. Below are four important things you most likely didn't know about Halloween.